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CHICAGO – First-time voter Nick Bradham entered his 25^th precinct voting location in Chicago’s 25^th Ward Tuesday knowing exactly how he was going to vote in the Illinois Democratic presidential primary, but the 20-year-old University of Illinois at Chicago student was shocked to discover all the other crap on his ballot. “I don’t even know what a Recorder of Deeds does,” said Bradham, who then became visibly confused upon seeing a vote for Cook County Coroner. “Wait, we vote on the person that looks at dead people?” Though Bradham was taken off-guard by all that extra crap on his ballot besides the Democratic presidential primary, he managed to spend only 40 seconds in the voting booth. Added Bradham, “I really just thought I would vote for [Democratic presidential candidate] Barack Obama, but I went ahead and punched holes for all that other stuff too.”