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Barack Obama is, like, way more about change than the other candidates

Let me just come right out and say it. If you don’t back Obama to be the next president of the country, then my candidate, the Barack Attack, is more about change than whoever you’re backing will ever be.

See, all these other candidates are just imitating Obama by saying they are for change. Just like the way they all got onto Facebook after he did it. I bet John Edwards doesn’t even know how to SuperWall someone. And I happen to know for a fact that Mitt Romney doesn’t even bother to tag anyone in his photos. These small things all add up to one big thing: Barack Obama can bring change to the status quo.

Did you see how everyone was talking about him after the Iowa caucuses when he won and gave that speech? The crowd was chanting O-bam-a, and he had to stop talking because they were so loud. And you could tell that he was totally humbled and didn’t want that kind of attention just by looking at the reluctant smile on his face and listening to the way he so appreciatively thanked his supporters. See, he knows it’s not about him but about this great nation. He’s so awesome and he can really do amazing stuff as president.

Our foreign relations will really improve. He’ll just sit down with all those other leaders and be like, “Hey, everyone, we should all just start getting along and respecting one another.” See, that’s what Bush and other Republicans won’t do because they all hate people that aren’t white and only care about oil and killing illegal immigrants. And they just want to win the war on terror, but what’s the real war on terror? Could the real terror be right here in America disguised as a ticking Congress bomb!? But Obama would make all our foreign relations better by just being nice for a change, and isn’t that all people are really looking for in this life?

When Barack is elected president, then the rest of the world will start to understand how we’re really great people over here in America because they will see how cool he is with them. I bet the people in the Middle East would be surprised to know that tons of us go volunteer at homeless shelters on Thanksgiving morning. And I bet China and North Korea have no idea how we really love Asians. A bunch of my guy friends really feel that way, and they even say they are totally into some specific type of Asian movie genre.

So if you’re interested in having a better country, where we’ll have health insurance really easy and get along with the other countries and not hate people because they don’t have a social security card, then join the movement, the Chancellor of Change, Barack Obama. O-BAM-A, O-BAM-A, O-BAM-A, O-BAM-A…