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THE WEEKLY WIPE

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Man's pre-urination fart mysteriously absent today

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January 31, 2008 | Issue 5-05

To the surprise of Richard Vits, a 44-year-old accountant, he did not experience his usual flatulence prior to an early-morning urination just after 6 a.m. Since that time, Vits has micturated twice more without his customary pre-urination exodus of lower intestine gases. “It just doesn’t make any sense,” said Vits, who wonders if the new phenomenon will be permanent. “It’s making the whole process more difficult because I expect a combination of nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, and sometimes methane to propel its way through my rectum, but it just doesn’t happen.” Vits added he will ingest more polysaccharides throughout the day to see if he can fall back into a urination rhythm. 

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