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GRAND ISLAND, S.D. – Frank Howard and dozens of other patrons of Island Lanes Bowling Center on Saturday witnessed Howard’s girlfriend, Ann Kinsel, display significantly superior bowling ability to that of her boyfriend of two years.

Despite a lack of previous bowling experience and a lane approach one on-looking bowler described as “similar to a hungry cow in a feed lot,” Kinsel recorded two strikes and a spare in her first three frames, besting Howard, who left each of his first three frames open.

Though noticeably attempting to conjure an explanation as to how Kinsel had built a 38-pin lead by the fifth frame, Howard could only assemble theories about his lackluster performance while attributing the success of his significant other to the good fortune he said first-time bowlers always enjoy.

“I think it could be because my shoulder is sore from tearing up the basketball court yesterday,” said Howard, who admitted to nearby friends he regretted not suggesting miniature golf instead. “Usually I bowl about a 230. Plus, I’m really not bowling so bad as much as Ann is just getting really lucky rolls.”

While some friends accused Howard of attempting to explain away his inferiority in the game, the 26-year-old was quick to mention his girlfriend’s long history of beginner’s luck. In the past, noted Howard, Kinsel has also benefited from extraordinarily good fortune as a first-time player of foosball, billiards, Trivial Pursuit, darts, and Nintendo Wii.

Kinsel ended her first-ever game of bowling with an impressive 189 score, while Howard recorded a notable 104, despite not really trying and just goofing off for most of the game. Still, Howard hoped to fare better in the final frames of the Saturday night outing, but it proved too difficult given that, in addition to his shoulder soreness, he also had a pounding headache that he forgot to mention earlier.

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