| Share it

ADVERTISEMENT

CHICAGO – Citing reasons ranging from “because they’re dorkwads” to “we’re cooler,” Best Buy bullies forcibly told Geek Squad employees earlier this week they would have to work on July 4^th “or else.” Geek Squad losers were informed of the schedule change while cooler blue-shirted employees provided them with a mixture of swirlies and wedgies aimed at gaining all-important buy-in of the decision. Though many Geek Squads were already slated to work the holiday, they, too, were further convinced to do so after being told to do the Best Buy bullies’ sales reports.