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TOP STORY

12-second Wi-Fi interruption elicits silent rebuke from Starbucks patron

The junior political science major almost went to complain to the store’s staff  but instead decided to make extra noise by left-clicking his browser’s refresh button from a height of two feet ... [more]

NAPKIN NEWS RADIO

The Minute Or So Long News with Foster Pierce

 

Regional sales rep has plenty more notepads if you need any

 


NEWS IN BRIEF

Inexperienced church actor mistakenly crucifies Pontias Pilate

 


FEATURED OPINION

These superdelegates need to understand just how super Barack Obama is

by Sarah Morrison, Student political liaison

 

PEOPLE

'April Fools,' exclaims local man after everything he said today

SPORTS

Baseball rescues nation from excitement of NCAA tournament



 

 


FROM THE WIRE

Tampa Bay Rays vault to top of AL East standings

VP Cheney makes surprise visit to reality
Joe Torre wondering when all the big-time players will report to team

Yankees rained out but still very important

Nobody remembers Davidson's NCAA tournament run in 2008

 

HEALTH

Life's philosophy manifested in bathroom stall

 

NEWS ARCHIVES

Fourth grade math genius calculates high probability of getting beat up

 

Researchers identify gene that leads to gene research

 

Hillary Clinton details plan to give every American affordable pantsuits

 

Heroin shop exposed as a front for backroom shoe repair operation

 

POLITICS

Report: Women worse at delegate math

 

 

 

 

 

 

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PREVIOUS ISSUE

Investigation exposes numerous CIA coffee leaks

 

Eighth-grade scientist successfully isolates self from classmates

 

Source: Kelvin Sampson made 577 resignation calls to IU president  

 

NAPKIN NEWS RADIO

Funny thing just said totally going on quote board

 

Public fountain desecrated again

 

SPORTS

Favre retirement speech intercepted by Giants safety

 

NASCAR fans stare blankly as team finances discussed

 

NBA adds gun wielding contest to All-Star weekend

 

Cubs acquire pitcher Jon Lieber to bolster '08 disabled list

 

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