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Andy Rooney inadvertently launches own fragrance

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February 28, 2008 | Issue 5-09

NEW YORK – As countless celebrities peddle their perfumes and clothing lines, television personality and syndicated columnist Andy Rooney got in on the action this week when he accidentally launched his very own fragrance.

 

The unique smell Rooney unintentionally emitted went unnoticed for several seconds before 60 Minutes employees noticed the 89-year-old commentator’s new fragrance line.

 

“It seems like the next natural step for him,” said Jeff Fager, the investigative news show’s executive producer. “At this point in his life and career I believe he can barely help but release his own scent.”

 

Rooney was working on a commentary piece for A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney about how high definition TVs are just regular TVs with a better picture, when he introduced his distinct aroma to a select few during a private meeting. Richard Garber, a 60 Minutes staff writer, described the newly released fragrance as a bouquet of intestinal gas, Old English hair tonic, and coffee-laden sweat.

 

Rooney answered questions about whether or not he will make the scent available for purchase.

 

“Launching one’s own fragrance is an interesting endeavor,” Rooney said. “Just what makes someone capable of having his or her own smell? I seem as qualified as, say, Britney Spears, to have one. That doesn’t mean I’m going to sell it. It reminds me of something one of my Army buddies said back in 1943 about the odor in the trenches: ‘It’s an interesting and different smell, but I’m glad they don’t bottle it.’”

 

60 Minutes resident fusser added that he wonders why so many people are willing to dish out $70 for a bottle of perfumed liquid, which Rooney said gave him a perfect topic for his next spoken column.

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