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THE WEEKLY
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27-year-old man found wed in suburbs
April 15, 2008 | Issue 5-15
After friends made several attempts to revive him with televised sports and
invitations to attend area bars, Blue was pronounced wed at the scene when
friends checked his ring finger. A cause of marriage was not immediately known.
Friends are left searching for answers as to how a seemingly mentally fit young
man turned up wed with so much of his life ahead of him.
Blue’s untimely departure may have been the result of a long-term relationship
that became serious in 2002 and developed into full-blown marriage almost three
years ago, leading to a severely altered lifestyle for the former sports fan and
one-time independent thinker.
“I had noticed differences. He never used to do any lawn work before, and then
he traded his Grand Prix for a minivan,” said Brad Decker, Blue’s college
roommate. “He never was the same after he moved from downtown.”
John Dean, Blue’s friend of 13 years, first noticed Blue in his basement and
found him unresponsive to repeated requests to watch the game. “He just sat
there saying he would have to check with someone named Susan. That’s when we
started to fear he was wed and gone forever.”
Blue is survived by nine bachelor friends.
Relationships affect more than 70 million American men, with 65 percent of those
cases developing into advanced-stage marriage. Marriage can spring up suddenly
in men and often affects a sufferer’s ability to make autonomous decisions and
fraternize with other men.
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